Well I havent written in a few days due to the fact that A) I have been incredibly busy with the thankless task I call my job and B) I havent felt like I was really 'here' much in the last few days. By this I mean that i've felt as though I've been here in body but from afar I have just been watching myself going about my day to day living, not really feeling it- just observing. Either this has something to do with the new medication I am taking or I am just feeling a bit under the weather at present or the last option, which could quite easily also cover the first two options- I am in fact crazy!
Today is another Monday where my alarm went off and I pulled the duvet over my head and groaned 'not time to get up already!'. I walked a different way to work this morning- they say that change is as good as a rest- well I disagree with them- whoever 'they' may be!!! It took me the same amount of time to walk to work but was a completely stress inducing exercise- instead of the peaceful route I usually take through the Cathedral grounds, skipping along with birds and butterflies following me (ok so not completely true but you get what I mean) I walked via the roadway, under the fly-over and through an industrial estate- all I could hear was traffic, so my time for gathering my thoughts at the start of the day was completely ruined!
Now I don't know about other people but I quite like my 'alone time' in the morning- it's a small window between seeing people I live with and having to talk all day to customers & colleagues at work, where I can take a deep breath, think about things I have to address in my own life, think of the things I'd like to do later and just enjoy the freshness of the morning and the start of a brand new day. It irritates me immensely when this routine gets ruined and I have to hurry to work without time to think. I especially hate it if I bump into someone I know on the way to work and they insist on walking part of the way with me....If this is you then I am sorry, it's nothing personal it's just me and any other time I will happily speak to you, but not at the beginning of my day. So next time you're approaching and you see me gather speed and cross the road, please dont be offended- it's just that I really need time with myself right now.
I've sat at my desk today re-doing some of the work I did on Friday, not for the sheer hell of it or because I'm that rubbish at my job that I have to re-do my work, its just that so many stupid things occur here on a daily basis which means most things will have to be re-done at some point (sigh). I sit here day-dreaming of the kind of job I'd like to do, something which actually filled me with enthusiasm like being a travel agent- people would be happy as they'd be coming in to book fabulous holidays and you'd be making trips possible for them. I'd quite like the job of the blogger for the exotic dessert island- just me, the sun, sand and the internet- I'd only have to speak to people when I chose to. As it stands I have to speak to people when the phone rings, when they email me and when THEY decide. I often feel as though I'm always here- every Monday I get de ja vu- I come in the office, hang up my jacket, put my lunch in the fridge, sit down and check my emails ready for another week. It really does feel like it is perpetually Monday!!!
Monday 4 April 2011
Monday 28 March 2011
MONDAY ALREADY?!
Loving that the clocks have now changed and it means that soon it will be light (and warm) enough to sit outside after work with a nice glass of Vino! Not loving that I forgot to adjust the clock on the heating timer so this morning the house was freezing when I got up for work!!! Not the best way to start Monday!
So the weekend turned out just fine- I actually did not have to worry about what to wear for my night out on Saturday as by chance I found a hot little black dress for the amazing price of £8 in the sale! I like those kind of unexpected finds! I did realise however (something I'm pretty sure I did already know) that there are a LOT of idiots out there. I dont know what it is about alcohol but it turns men into prehistoric beings who think that they can still grab you by the hair and drag you back to their cave for some sweet lovin. Men think that obviously because you dressed up (naturally, just for them) and because you are dancing with your friends and having fun- what you are actually saying is 'Hey look at my plumage and check out my mating dance- come over here because I obviously want to sleep with you'. It annoys me so much that men grab at you on a night out- I'm sure they would never do that in the street. I would love to go into a club and grab a guy by the crotch and see how they feel. Mind you they would propbably think their luck was in. Note to all pervy men out there- We DONT like having our butts squeezed, having our arms grabbed to make us stop and talk to you, and having filthy gestures or comments made to us. We much prefer you to just be polite and talk to us, make us laugh or just compliment us. Don't be the one guy we remember from our night out for all the wrong reasons- the guy who will be added to the list of idiots that reminds us why most of the time WE HATE MEN!
I had a rubbish nights sleep after my night out though- not because I was drunk (this is one of the very few times I drank copious amounts and couldnt even get tipsy!) my boyfriend as fond as I am of him- drove me nuts with his constant fidgeting, talking in his sleep and at one point even punched me in the face. That is enough to put anyone in a bad mood!!!
I had that horrible groggy feeling for most of sunday when you really want to sleep but you know you won't be able to, so I ended up making myself busy visiting friends and then going to keep my boyfriend company at the pub he works in because I felt sorry for him having to work on a Sunday when he is usually off.
I ended up drinking far too much wine, entering a pub quiz and then going home at 11pm!
I simply cannot do the normal thing of going home and going to bed- I still have to take all my make up off, brush my teeth, fold away my clothes and usually sit around for a while thinking that there is probably something else that needs doing before I can possibly think about going to sleep! Last night I decided to make a cheese and ham wrap with curry paste and grill it- why oh why I have no idea, I just really fancied it and thought that would be a good combination. Well the cheese was VERY thickly sliced and I managed to get half the curry paste on the floor in my attempts. The scary (and slightly sad) thing is, I did all that, ate it and then cleaned everything up including emptying the bin- why oh why I have no idea and I don't actually remember that part, I just know I got up to a sparkly clean kitchen this morning!!!
So far the morning has gone quick but I am sitting at work already thinking how much I wish I was at home cosy in bed! Hopefully the rest of today will go quickly and home time will be here sooner than I know! maybe I'll eat my lovely thickly sliced cheese wrap (Oh yes, I also made my packed lunch in my crazy drunken state) or maybe I'll have a little nap at my desk, like my friend Rocky is now doing!!!- Theres only us two at work today so it probably wont matter too much lol!
So the weekend turned out just fine- I actually did not have to worry about what to wear for my night out on Saturday as by chance I found a hot little black dress for the amazing price of £8 in the sale! I like those kind of unexpected finds! I did realise however (something I'm pretty sure I did already know) that there are a LOT of idiots out there. I dont know what it is about alcohol but it turns men into prehistoric beings who think that they can still grab you by the hair and drag you back to their cave for some sweet lovin. Men think that obviously because you dressed up (naturally, just for them) and because you are dancing with your friends and having fun- what you are actually saying is 'Hey look at my plumage and check out my mating dance- come over here because I obviously want to sleep with you'. It annoys me so much that men grab at you on a night out- I'm sure they would never do that in the street. I would love to go into a club and grab a guy by the crotch and see how they feel. Mind you they would propbably think their luck was in. Note to all pervy men out there- We DONT like having our butts squeezed, having our arms grabbed to make us stop and talk to you, and having filthy gestures or comments made to us. We much prefer you to just be polite and talk to us, make us laugh or just compliment us. Don't be the one guy we remember from our night out for all the wrong reasons- the guy who will be added to the list of idiots that reminds us why most of the time WE HATE MEN!
I had a rubbish nights sleep after my night out though- not because I was drunk (this is one of the very few times I drank copious amounts and couldnt even get tipsy!) my boyfriend as fond as I am of him- drove me nuts with his constant fidgeting, talking in his sleep and at one point even punched me in the face. That is enough to put anyone in a bad mood!!!
I had that horrible groggy feeling for most of sunday when you really want to sleep but you know you won't be able to, so I ended up making myself busy visiting friends and then going to keep my boyfriend company at the pub he works in because I felt sorry for him having to work on a Sunday when he is usually off.
I ended up drinking far too much wine, entering a pub quiz and then going home at 11pm!
I simply cannot do the normal thing of going home and going to bed- I still have to take all my make up off, brush my teeth, fold away my clothes and usually sit around for a while thinking that there is probably something else that needs doing before I can possibly think about going to sleep! Last night I decided to make a cheese and ham wrap with curry paste and grill it- why oh why I have no idea, I just really fancied it and thought that would be a good combination. Well the cheese was VERY thickly sliced and I managed to get half the curry paste on the floor in my attempts. The scary (and slightly sad) thing is, I did all that, ate it and then cleaned everything up including emptying the bin- why oh why I have no idea and I don't actually remember that part, I just know I got up to a sparkly clean kitchen this morning!!!
So far the morning has gone quick but I am sitting at work already thinking how much I wish I was at home cosy in bed! Hopefully the rest of today will go quickly and home time will be here sooner than I know! maybe I'll eat my lovely thickly sliced cheese wrap (Oh yes, I also made my packed lunch in my crazy drunken state) or maybe I'll have a little nap at my desk, like my friend Rocky is now doing!!!- Theres only us two at work today so it probably wont matter too much lol!
Friday 25 March 2011
How lunch turned out and other things
Well..... I made it to the park- no tramps in sight although there was an awful lot of half naked men playing football- Seriously its March and yes the sun is out but its not THAT warm.
I like the park- its interesting to people watch- there was a lady I would say of around the age of 50 who very neatly took off her jacket and spent a good five minutes checking the ground before she decided it was safe to sit down. I loved the meticulous way in which she straightened her jacket on the floor as a makeshift rug, got her book and her apple out of her bag and then looked at her watch as if to make a mental note of precisely how long she planned to sit there. I on the otherhand, spent 5 minutes picking a bench under a tree that was not covered in bird poop so as to ensure that any angry pigeons would not be making me their target this lunch hour!
The hour always goes so quick and I often think 'what would happen if I carried on walking, right past work and off to someplace else' would they sack me, would they call me, how long before they noticed I had gone?
On the way back to work, my thoughts were rudely interrupted by 3 builders in a pick up truck shouting 'Yeah baby, Yeah' and wolf whistling at me. I'm one of those people whose brain likes to tell them after the event what I should have said or done- at the time I went bright red at the attention being drawn to me then hurriedly walked on praying that the lights would not change and I'd have to cross the road in front of these morons. In my head, by the time I was almost back at work my brain was like 'er hi there, just wanted to say you should have waved at them or asked them if they kiss their mothers with those mouths'. Hindsight is a wonderful thing- NOT!
So now I've arranged at 4:30pm on a Friday to go out with my friend on saturday night- unlike me because I'm a stickler for making plans and not those of the last minute variety. (I also like to make lists to remind me to do things- not because im forgetful, I just like lists) Recently I have been forced to try out last minute plan making / changing because the people in my life seem to have no concept of what a plan is and are absolutely rubbish at sticking to any kind of schedule!
Now the dilemma is- what do I wear tomorrow night, oh no, do I actually HAVE anything I can wear to look positively glamorous (obviously I know the real answer to this is yes, I'm just being picky and ridiculous, my wardrobe is full to bursting), what time should I have dinner tomorrow, I don't want to be bloated but I don't want to get so drunk I'm falling over before I've left the house!!! I think I just need to breathe and tonight enjoy a glass of wine with some friends and forget about it until tomorrow when the time to decide on what to wear and what to eat finally arrives. Mind you I could give myself a kick start by writing a list.....................
I like the park- its interesting to people watch- there was a lady I would say of around the age of 50 who very neatly took off her jacket and spent a good five minutes checking the ground before she decided it was safe to sit down. I loved the meticulous way in which she straightened her jacket on the floor as a makeshift rug, got her book and her apple out of her bag and then looked at her watch as if to make a mental note of precisely how long she planned to sit there. I on the otherhand, spent 5 minutes picking a bench under a tree that was not covered in bird poop so as to ensure that any angry pigeons would not be making me their target this lunch hour!
The hour always goes so quick and I often think 'what would happen if I carried on walking, right past work and off to someplace else' would they sack me, would they call me, how long before they noticed I had gone?
On the way back to work, my thoughts were rudely interrupted by 3 builders in a pick up truck shouting 'Yeah baby, Yeah' and wolf whistling at me. I'm one of those people whose brain likes to tell them after the event what I should have said or done- at the time I went bright red at the attention being drawn to me then hurriedly walked on praying that the lights would not change and I'd have to cross the road in front of these morons. In my head, by the time I was almost back at work my brain was like 'er hi there, just wanted to say you should have waved at them or asked them if they kiss their mothers with those mouths'. Hindsight is a wonderful thing- NOT!
So now I've arranged at 4:30pm on a Friday to go out with my friend on saturday night- unlike me because I'm a stickler for making plans and not those of the last minute variety. (I also like to make lists to remind me to do things- not because im forgetful, I just like lists) Recently I have been forced to try out last minute plan making / changing because the people in my life seem to have no concept of what a plan is and are absolutely rubbish at sticking to any kind of schedule!
Now the dilemma is- what do I wear tomorrow night, oh no, do I actually HAVE anything I can wear to look positively glamorous (obviously I know the real answer to this is yes, I'm just being picky and ridiculous, my wardrobe is full to bursting), what time should I have dinner tomorrow, I don't want to be bloated but I don't want to get so drunk I'm falling over before I've left the house!!! I think I just need to breathe and tonight enjoy a glass of wine with some friends and forget about it until tomorrow when the time to decide on what to wear and what to eat finally arrives. Mind you I could give myself a kick start by writing a list.....................
Dilemmas
This morning I woke up and the landing light was on, now usually I turn the light off last thing before I go to bed which meant in no uncertain terms could I have accidentally left it on- ergo an intruder MUST have broken in and put the light on (I've heard burglars do that).
This meant that for at least 10 mins I had to scour the house to make sure no one was in fact hiding- how ridiculous, an intruder is not likely to have been hiding in my house from 11pm until 6:45am in the hope I might discover him!! Happy that there was no intruder I decided to get ready for work- I did that thing where you walk about, look in the cupboards and dont really do anything then realise you've wasted half an hour and you're mad that you're late!!!
Most mornings are like this (I dont look for an intruder EVERY day though!).
Today I've done the same thing at my desk- moving piles of paper from one side to another not really DOING anything.
Im currently thinking about the fact I've consumed a small elephant in food today- there really was no need to have a salad at 10, a sandwich at 12, followed by a cupcake and some crisps!!! Im going for dinner with a friend tonight and I'm already trying to work out how to halve the number of calories Ive eaten- sod it, i'll have to walk REALLY fast to the restaurant then make sure I ony have 1 sandwich tomorrow!!!
planning on spending lunch in the park today as its sunny- already weighing up the possibilities of the following occurring:
This meant that for at least 10 mins I had to scour the house to make sure no one was in fact hiding- how ridiculous, an intruder is not likely to have been hiding in my house from 11pm until 6:45am in the hope I might discover him!! Happy that there was no intruder I decided to get ready for work- I did that thing where you walk about, look in the cupboards and dont really do anything then realise you've wasted half an hour and you're mad that you're late!!!
Most mornings are like this (I dont look for an intruder EVERY day though!).
Today I've done the same thing at my desk- moving piles of paper from one side to another not really DOING anything.
Im currently thinking about the fact I've consumed a small elephant in food today- there really was no need to have a salad at 10, a sandwich at 12, followed by a cupcake and some crisps!!! Im going for dinner with a friend tonight and I'm already trying to work out how to halve the number of calories Ive eaten- sod it, i'll have to walk REALLY fast to the restaurant then make sure I ony have 1 sandwich tomorrow!!!
planning on spending lunch in the park today as its sunny- already weighing up the possibilities of the following occurring:
- Tramp in park speaks to me
- Kids happy slap me
- I trip over on way to park
- Bird poops on me
- Said Tramp tries to touch me
- Bird turns out to be a massive chicken!!!
- All of the above occurrs and i'll wish i hadnt gone out- gahhhhhhhh!!!!
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